


This Is Why We Usually Break Up The Fights

by Very_Anxious_Bean



Series: The Sides as Roommates [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Another Trip to Urgent Care, Blood and Injury, Broken Bones, Bruises, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Episode: Dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS References, Fights, Gen, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Major Character Injury, Morality | Patton Sanders and Deceit Sanders are Twins, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, No Angst, Roommates, Sibling Love, Sibling Rivalry, Swearing, bloody noses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 05:16:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19882258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Anxious_Bean/pseuds/Very_Anxious_Bean
Summary: While everyone is out doing something, Remus and Roman start bickering. The verbal fight leads to a physical fight. A+ to the twins that always get hurt in some way since they can never seem to leave each other alone.





	This Is Why We Usually Break Up The Fights

**Author's Note:**

> Tags for warnings!! The fight isn't _too_ graphic but I still put it in case. 
> 
> Deceit goes by Eden!

See, usually Remus and Roman didn't talk while everyone was out. They knew it would probably end badly but of _course_ Remus had to bug Roman. 

Virgil and Logan were out for coffee, taking a break from their roommates, and Thomas was with some other friends. Patton was going out to get some ingredients for banana bread but he would get distracted by something and Eden was going to a pub. 

No one knew where exactly but the 'Dark Sides' (dubbed by Roman himself) knew where it was in case an emergency occurred. They usually found him hooking up with random people or betting and playing poker. There was a reason he either got a shit ton of money, or suddenly lost it.

Remus was bored, so he kicked open Roman's door, ignoring the fact he was half-dressed, and sat on his desk. "If you went to those wonky mirrors- y'know, the ones where it makes you look disproportional? The only thing your reflection would be me, 'cause I'm your twisted side." 

Roman narrowed his eyes at Remus. "Get off my desk, I've got important papers on that." 

"If we were on person, we'd probably be thrown into a mental hospital, but hey! At least we've got creativity from A to Z. Like asphyxiation to zombies!" 

Roman's face scrunched up, "Off."

"You're all unicorn horns and dragon tails, but did you ever think about unicorn _porn_ or-"

"No. Stop. Gross!" 

"- _rats impaled_?" 

Roman stuck his tongue out, "Get out!"

"But did you imagine stuffing Thomas in a coffin?" Remus asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Did you crawl out of a dumpster or something?!" 

"Or something. I crawled out of hell, Ro-Ro~" 

"Do _not_ call me that," Roman pulled Remus off his desk. He began dragging his twin out of the room. 

"Patton says it."

"Hardly ever."

" _Hard_ ly ever, hm? Are you secret friends with benefits? Oh, how naughty!" Remus cackled.

Roman shoved Remus out of his room, dodging when he threw a left hook. He shoved Remus again. 

Remus grabbed Roman's wrist, running backwards. Roman shouted when they fell down the stairs, feeling his wrist snap from falling on his outstretched hand. He was grateful it wasn't his collarbone. 

Remus punched Roman in the face while he was off guard, and Roman could feel the blood. Roman shoved Remus off, kicking his shoulder as hard as he could while Remus stumbled backwards. 

When Remus was on the floor, Roman got up. He glared at Remus when he grabbed his ankle and he stomped on the same shoulder he kicked repeatedly. He didn't mean to break his collarbone but that's what happened. 

Remus ignored his broken bone and tackled Roman again. The two wrestled until Roman pinned Remus down, his knee pressing into Remus' chest as he carefully put his weight on his twin. "Surrender!"

"You surrender!" Remus said, wriggling around.

"You're not going to be able to escape from under my weight, and the sooner you honestly surrender, the sooner we can go to Urgent Care." 

The twins wrestled for another hours, Roman's wrist bruising heavily and swelling while Remus' collarbone bruised and the tent in his skin became more obvious. 

Roman was able to eventually pin Remus again, grabbing his hair and pulling on it hard enough that he winced. 

"You're into hair pulling? That's kinky!" 

"Oh my god, _please_ just let me take us to Urgent Care. It looks like the skin is about to break," Roman frowned. 

"And how exactly do you plan on driving us anywhere with a broken wrist?"

"I can drive with one hand. I'm not stupid."

"Are you sure?"

Roman yanked on Remus' hair. 

"Ouch! Okay, fine!" Remus pouted. 

"Thank _god_." 

"Ya know," Remus said as he got into Roman's car, "I didn't think you cared about me." 

"You're annoying and a brat," Roman deadpanned. 

Remus winked, resting his elbow on the door handle.

"Hey, no!" Roman said as he started driving, "Arm down! You're going to make your collarbone worse." 

"Aw, do you want me in tiptop condition for our fu-"

"I am not into incest, thank you very much." Roman scowled. 

"I was going to say 'fudge making' but whatever your dirty mind wants," Remus singsonged. 

Roman parked the car, "Just _stop_ for, like, three hours." 

"Fine!" 

Somehow, Patton was able to find Virgil and Logan at a different coffee shop than usual. "Hi, kiddos!" 

"Salutations, Patton," Logan said. Virgil waved, sipping his over-sweetened coffee with a shit-ton of espresso shots. 

"Can I hang out with you guys for a bit?" Patton asked. 

"Yeah- wait, don't you have to put stuff in the fridge?" Virgil asked. 

Patton knew he wasn't being rude, he was just worried about a few bananas. Patton chuckled, "No, nothing needs to be refrigerated."

"Okay, cool," Virgil said. "Do you want a hot chocolate or tea?" 

"I'll be fine, kiddo," Patton sat next to Logan. "So, what were you talking about?"

"We were just about to talk about how stupid hell's twins can be," Virgil sipped on his coffee again. 

"We were going to talk about how they get injured almost every day," Logan corrected, " but if it makes you upset, Patton-"

"No, it's fine!" Patton said, "Honestly, it is a bit concerning how often they hurt each other. Usually Roman does it by accident but there are times..." 

"Yes," Logan adjusted his glasses, "they do sometimes go to extremes because of their bickering. They should try to get along more often or, if they can't stand each other, they should separate." 

"You know how twins are," Patton said, "they hate each other but they'll also kill for each other." 

Virgil lifted an eyebrow, "Are you implying that you hate Eden?" 

"Not at all!" Patton said, "We just don't get along sometimes but I know that we still love each other. I was implying how you and Dee might as well be siblings that hate each other but will kill for each other." 

"I have been attacked."

"You have not been attacked," Logan said. "If Patton attacked-"

"Lo."

"I figured," Logan said. 

"Oh wow, Logan actually used modern sayings!" Virgil gasped.

"Kiddo, we've talked about being sarcastic." 

"Sarcasm is an _art_ , Popstar." 

Patton smiled, turning to Logan, "Good job, I'm proud, Lo!"

Logan gave Patton a subtle confused look. 

"Modern slang, I believe. Anyway, I can't believe that we reached 3:30 without a call from the twins for injuries!" 

"Yes, I believe that it is a miracle-"

Dramatic music started playing from Patton's phone. "I guess we spoke too soon," Patton chuckled before picking up with a, "Hello?"

Roman was clearly talking on the other end and a smile was stuck on Patton's face. Patton's eyes read 'regret.'

"One quick question, Ro," Patton said cheerfully. His smile seemed painful now even though it didn't change much from the genuine one from a few minutes ago. "Why the _fuck_ did you break Remus' collarbone? You broke your wrist _and_ they had to fix your broken nose?"

Roman's voice was clearly defensive. Virgil face palmed and Logan gave a heavy sigh. 

"You said that you both fell down the stairs? Please tell me that it was made up." Patton listened to Roman before he rested his forehead against the table. "Oh my gosh. Okay, we'll be there soon." 

Patton hung up, "I guess we have to pick them up from Urgent Care. One of us will have to drive Ro's car with Remus. Who wants to do that?" 

As soon as Roman saw the three men, he immediately asked to go in his own car and be the one driving.

"No, you're not driving. You can be in your car, I'll take Remus and Logan, but you cannot drive." Patton said sternly.

"Wait, so Virge is driving?" Roman asked. He pouted when Virgil took his car keys with a smirk. "He's going to either speed or crash. He's gotten, like, nine hours of sleep in four days!"

"Virge?" Patton didn't need to finish his question.

"Yeah, I solemnly swear I'm up to good."

"Great!" 

They all piled into the cars and drove home. 

As soon as Roman saw Patton, he shouted out that Virgil sped. 

"Snitches get stitches," Virgil said. 

Roman made a face, "Is that a vague threat or are you just saying that?"

Virgil slipped away. 

"I'm gonna assume that was a vague threat," Roman muttered. 

"I'm a vague threat!" Remus loudly said. 

"No," Roman deadpanned, "you're a full blown threat."

"I am not."

The front door opened and Eden called out, "Yes you are."

"Am I being attacked?"

"No, that was earlier," Roman said, monotone. He started helping Patton put the ingredients away. 

"I-"

"Remus, why the hell are you wearing a sling and cast? Oh my god, _Roman_ -"

"It wasn't just me!" Roman defended. 

"You're both hurt? Again?!" 

"What did you expect from them?" Logan asked. He had brought a coffee home and was currently drinking it. 

"Not much!" 

"Relax, _mom_." Remus complained. 

Eden's eyes narrowed, "Me 'calm down'? You're the one who got-"

Roman cut out the Mom Lecture. Remus and Virgil constantly got them, and if they went too far, they also get a Dad Lecture. Sometimes Logan joined in, despite being 'at a lost for words!' and would stay up all night trying to get it through their head that whatever they did was stupid. 

Whenever the dads (or mom) got a lecture, it was either from one of the others or from the kids. It was usually Virgil, and Logan or Eden. 

When Thomas came back home, he wasn't surprised to find the two R's injured. He still asked what happened, sadly not being phased by what happened between the two. "Okay so this means that you two aren't going going to talk for the rest of the day, right?"

"Of course!" Roman said. 

"Thank god," Thomas muttered. He yawned, said he was going to take a nap ("Kiddo, your sleep schedule..."), and left for his room. He was the only one that had a room to himself and sometimes he was incredibly thankful for that.


End file.
